Priest's jokes
Three nuns are talking, and the first nun says, "You would never believe what I discovered." Intrigued, the others signal her to continue. "I found a phone in the priest's room," said the first nun. "Oh, that's nothing," said the second one. "I found condoms in one of his drawers." said the second one. "What did you do with them?" said the first nun. Pridefully, the second nun responds with, "I poked holes in all of them." and the third nun says, "Oh sh*t...."
What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pedophile? There isn't a difference.
Girl: Daddy, I've been a bad girl.
Priest: For the last time, it's "Father, I have sinned."
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"
Q: What's the difference between me and a priest? A: A priest isn't turned on by dead children.
When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.
It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.
A monk asks the priest if it's okay to kiss a nun.
The priest replies, "Just as long as you don't get in the habit!"
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
The priest wanted the little boy to touch his cross. The boy said, "It's hard." Then it shot out holy water, and the priest said, "Come again and taste the second cumming of Jesus, lmao."
Roses are red, don’t touch the toys, these are what the priests use to lure in the boys.
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
A priest, a minister, a rabbi and an imam walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this a joke?"
What's the difference between a priest and a zit?
A: One waits until you're twelve to cum on your face.
A priest, a pedo, and a rapist walk into a bar and that's just the first guy.
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
A 23 year old priest walks into a high school with an automatic weapon. He tells those who believe in God to stand up and leave.
To the children who don't leave, he says, "Do not worry my children, I shall make thou 'hole-y' as well."
He then proceeds to shoot all of the students left.
Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂