Pollution jokes
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
I don’t have a carbon footprint. I just drive everywhere.
What’s the difference between Texas and Flint, Michigan?
Nothing; no one cares how much lead is in the kids.
Your mama smells so bad that everytime she goes outside, she gets ticketed for pollution. She's so ugly that everytime she looks out a window, she gets arrested for mooning.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
I don't have a carbon footprint. I drive everywhere.
In a thick Russian accent:
"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
I would roast you but burning trash is bad for the environment.
It's weird being an autistic eugenicist.
On one hand I want pussy and on the other hand I don't wanna pollute the white race with my genetic filth.
The tortoise was swimming through the lake. His head got stuck in plastic. He said, "Oh dam."
What do lesbians and turtles have in common? They both choke on plastic.
I don't have a carbon footprint; I just drive everywhere.
So when Kim Kardashian went into the ocean, the lifeguard said, "No plastic littering!"
What do turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What does a lesbian and a sea turtle have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
Keep the planet clean. It's not Uranus.
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!