Playing Dead jokes

When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say, “This boy always had a fat ass.”

The last thing I said to my dog was,

"Play dead."

Play dead, they said.

Wasn't too hard.

I've been dead inside for years.

My wife and I have been married over 30 years, but don’t get me wrong, we still perform tricks in the bedroom.

I sit up and beg, she rolls over and plays dead.

Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says, “911, what's your emergency?” The hunter replies, “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies, “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent, and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says, “Ok, now what?”

When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.

But when you do, people scream and run away.

What are you good at?

Dying. Dammit, I fail at that too.

if a toy from Toy Story died, the kid wouldn't know, and the other toys would just have to watch as their kid played with the corpse.

Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...