Play jokes
Why don’t they play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
What do you call a 18+ animal jam?
Play Wild!
All doggies go to heaven - or so I've been told.
They run and play along the streets of Gold.
Why is heaven such a doggie-delight...
Why, because there's not a single cat in sight.
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
Why was the new gamer mad when they were playing Overwatch?
Because gamer girl WAS ALREADY TRACER.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
How come lepers don't play cards?
Well, if they lose a couple of hands...
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Lil Timmy and Lil Susie are taking a bath together. Lil Susie looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car." They continue on with their bath.
Then Lil Timmy looks down and says, "Hey, what's that?" Lil Susie looks down and says, "Oh, that, that's only my little red race car garage." They continue with their bath. Then Lil Susie says, "Hey, what if we try to put your little red race car in my little red race car garage?"
The parents downstairs then hear a bloody scream. They rush upstairs and then say, "What's wrong?" Lil Susie says, "Well, Lil Timmy tried to put his little red race car in my little red race car garage but the back wheels wouldn't fit, so we cut them off."
My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.
I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)