Plane jokes

What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?

One of the missions succeeded.

Trump and two of his friends are stranded on an island with no internet connection and no way of getting home. As they frantically run around the island trying to get a signal so Trump can call his private helicopter to come and pick them up, Trump’s wig falls off and lands on a magical lamp, from which suddenly appears a genie. As Trump replaces his wig, the genie announces that he will grant each man one wish for freeing him.

The men stop to confer. The first one says he will wish for a plane to rescue him, the second wishes for a boat to rescue him and they tell Trump to wish for a helicopter to rescue him. Trump, being Trump, nods and says yes, but he wasn’t really listening. Then they approach the genie. The first one of Trump’s friends wishes for a plane to rescue him, as agreed. The second one of Trump’s friends wishes for a boat to rescue him, as agreed. Then Trump is left all alone, but instead of wishing for a helicopter to rescue him, as agreed, he says, “Aww, I’m lonely now. I wish both my friends were here with me!”

My dad was in 9/11, that's rude, and he was a great pilot.

Is it me, or was 9/11 too plane? I thought it would be more exciting.

When does a Pentagon have 4 sides? When it's intercepted by a plane.

You know why you never wanna fly with an orphan?

'Cause then they know they won't die alone.

Why did the planes crash into the Twin Towers?

Women were flying the plane.

Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because they ordered pizzas and they only got plain: one came late, and then went to the wrong location.

A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."

My grandpa died in 9/11. He crashed a plane.

What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.

What do birds and planes have in common?

They both fly into building windows.

Why are planes the most dangerous killers?

Because they killed 2,996 people in 10-25 minutes.

What does a terrorist do when they see a twin?

They fly a plane at them.

What did one plane say to the other? "Let's fly!"

Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”

P.l.a.n.e.

Precious lord, are nonbelievers evil?

I met a kid at the park. He was holding a picture of his parents in his hands. They had died on 9/11.

So, I went to comfort him. I said, "Hey, I lost my grandpa on 9/11. He was great. At flying a plane."

I told my friend to fly a plane,

But he threw a ramp off a roof.

Why were the Twin Towers workers disappointed? Because they ordered a ham and cheese, but all they got was a plane.