Physics jokes
What does a man and a gay prostitute have in common with a physically handicapped bisexual man? All three of them are very good at sucking your dick.
What is meals on wheels to a Christian nationalist that is also a conservative Republican politician, a gay man in a wheelchair that is poor and also physically handicapped, and who is also well-endowed?
What's the biggest problem with gravity?
It keeps putting people down.
What comes up on small oceans? Microwaves.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
Because he was trying to catch a boomerang.
Your momma so fat when she jumped the world collapsed.
I walk into my driveway. Stephen Hawking is on my roof.
Oh wait, never mind, he just fell.
Stephen Hawking was in a house fire. When he got out, people called him "Hot Wheels."
Stephen Hawking said there is no god.
God said there is no Stephen Hawking.
Why couldn't Stephen Hawking go to Heaven?
Because there were stairs.
When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.
Even if there was no gravity, I'd still fall for you.
Yo mama's so heavy and fat, gravity could not hold her down.
An emo and a leaf fall from a tree, which hits the ground first?
The leaf, because the emo got caught by the rope.
Why did the wheel fall?
Because there were too many fat people on it.
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.
Atoms never touch, so it means, we haven't touched each other or anything. So, sir, I did not drop-kick that child.
I wondered as the rock in the sky got bigger and bigger, then it hit the bottom of the Earth, and... "explosion!"
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
Stephen Hawking = dead smart.