Person jokes
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
Memes
SO TRUE
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
Little Johnny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something. Then he sees a plastic di**. He asks his mom, "What's that?" and Mom didn't know, so when his dad comes home from work, he sees him with the plastic di** and says, "Son, why you messing with my personal toy?"
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
nsjajahdahwggwdgdvtwqfdvgcqgvhheydgdygsydgdfydwfwdgsqgsgyd
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels!
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
Ayo, who's online :')
Neither of them respect boundaries.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!