Person jokes

What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!

I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.

Where are the others?

They're in his freezer.

Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?

Person: Big black what?

Riddler: ...

Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."

What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?

Con Fuckacarcass.

His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.

Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"

Friend: "Your blood pressure!"

How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.

What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?

Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.

What is a black person's least favorite word game?

Hangman.

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.

How did the fat person cross the road?

It rolled.

Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.