Person jokes
I moved so much stone today.
I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.
What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
Memes
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
What are the subtitles when a disabled person speaks in a movie?
nsjajahdahwggwdgdvtwqfdvgcqgvhheydgdygsydgdfydwfwdgsqgsgyd
Why can't a homeless person be in "The Boys?"
Because he would have beef with Homelander.
What do you call a person on fire in a wheelchair?
Hot wheels!
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."
What do you call a depressed person's life?
At this point, nonexistent.
Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
It's sad someone has ligma.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.