Person jokes
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
What is a self-harm person's favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
What is the email password of a black person?
"watermelon"
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.