Person jokes
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
What is the email password of a black person?
"watermelon"
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
What is a black person's least favorite word game?
Hangman.
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?