Person jokes
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
Memes
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
Ayo, who's online :')
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
Person: Why? You: No.
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
How do you get a depressed person out of a tree?
You cut the rope.