Person jokes
What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.
I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.
...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.
I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"
What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?
Stephen Hawking in a house fire.
Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?
A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
Memes
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?
Person: Big black what?
Riddler: ...
Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.
I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?
Helen Killer.
A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.
And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"
What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?
A unicycle can only take one person at a time.
What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?
Con Fuckacarcass.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!
Your sister: You're so ugly.
Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
His name is Donald, but he looks like Goofy.