Person jokes

What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!

I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.

I was on a bus when this girl offered to blow me for $5.

...and never being a person to pass up a good deal, I gave her $5 and watched her do her thing. After she was finished she lit up a cigarette and started smoking right there on the bus.

I was disgusted. I thought to myself, "What is this world coming to? Who sells cigarettes to a 12 year old?"

What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

Stephen Hawking in a house fire.

Q: How do you know an Asian person was in your house?

A: Your homework is done, breakfast is made, and your cat is gone.

One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.

Where are the others?

They're in his freezer.

What do you call a Greek necrophiliac?

Con Fuckacarcass.

How did the fat person cross the road?

It rolled.

Yo mama so fat, when she made a joke, only one person laughed at it: the pavement. It was absolutely cracking up!

Your sister: You're so ugly.

Me: But we look the same, so who's also ugly?

I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.

I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."

What is a black person's least favorite word game?

Hangman.

What do you call a deaf and blind axe murderer?

Helen Killer.

A conman, a mentally handicapped person, and a Russian spy walk into a bar.

And the bartender asks, "What will it be, Mr. President?"

Riddler: Riddle me this, are you scared of the big black?

Person: Big black what?

Riddler: ...

Person: I'm scared of what you mean because you won't tell me what you mean.

What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?

Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.

Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"

Friend: "Your blood pressure!"

Tell an old person to pretend [they are] shaking salt in their mouth... you'll see!

What’s the difference between my ex and a unicycle?

A unicycle can only take one person at a time.