I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
Outing Jokes
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
He was out-standing.
My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.
Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.
How do you make a blind person jealous? You ask if it's a nice day out.
Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
I went to a feminist picnic the other day.
It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.
Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?
He kept cutting in line.
What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."
Why do orphans hate health ed at school?
Their parents can't opt them out of it.
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
What is the similarity between orphans and apples?
They both get thrown out.
What commitment does a pimp make to each new hoe he turns out?
Answer: He will always be there for her after the break-in period.
