Outing jokes

You know those paper families you cut out?

Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone chucked a brick at her.

Why did Sally throw a clock out the window? She had brain damage from the brick.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They don't have a closet to come out of.

I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.

When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.

Three guys are on a plane: one is Asian, one is Mexican, and the other is an American. The pilot says, "There is too much weight on the plane, you all need to throw something off." So the Mexican threw out a burrito and said, "I have plenty of these where I come from." Then the Asian threw out some rice and said, "I have plenty of these in my country." The American threw out a bomb and said, "I have a lot of these in my country."

The plane crashes anyway, and the three men start to walk away from the crash. As they were walking, they found a boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of burritos fell out of the sky and got me all messy." The men started walking away and soon enough they found another boy crying. They asked him what was wrong, and he said, "A ton of rice fell out of the sky and shredded all my clothes." The guys knew who did it but avoided the trouble. They kept on walking and found a kid laughing so hard he was on the ground, and they asked what had been so funny. The boy said, "MY GRANDPA FARTED AND THE HOUSE BLEW UP!!!"

If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?

What is the similarity between orphans and apples?

They both get thrown out.

Why did the scarecrow get promoted?

He was out-standing.

Why was the emo kid thrown out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.

What do you not say to an Emo if you want them to come round? "Wanna hang out."

Why did Michael Jackson dangle a baby over a balcony?

He wanted to clean out the blanket.

What goes in dry and comes out wet and has white stuff at the end?

I went to a feminist picnic the other day.

It was great, apart from the fact no one made any sandwiches.

Why do orphans hate health ed at school?

Their parents can't opt them out of it.

I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!

One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.

My mom asked me if I was okay, so I replied, "I will be," and jumped out the window!

Why did the orphan fall out of the tree?

They thought their parents would catch them.

Yo mama so old when she farts, dust comes out.