Outing Jokes

A man was mowing his lawn when blue and reg stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I got kicked out of the library for putting the Women's Rights book in the fantasy section.

I came home from school One day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks so I did except I kicked him out him and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way

Last Night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.

A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.

You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?

European

So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child. Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," say Satan. "What is it?" The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl." Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?" The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?

One screems when you out it in a blender and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.

Why is a gun like a box of chocolates? If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.

Did you know ghosts are alcoholics They only come out for the Booz

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

A robber breaks into a house while the residents are away one dark night. Eager to see what he can loot, he quickly starts searching through cupboards and dressers, grabbing valuables with a trained eye. Suddenly, he hears a voice come out of nowhere. "Jesus is watching you." The criminal jumps, scared the residents are back, and freezes. After a few minutes of silence however, he assumes it was his imagination, and goes back to robbing. A couple minutes pass, before once again, the voice returns. "Jesus is watching you." Quite confused, the thief searches the house and checks the front door, but nothing pops out as unusual. He finally decides to move rooms, and finds a parrot, but ignores it. Before he can begin to do anything, someone speaks again, "Jesus is watching you." The robber realized it was the parrot talking! Going to the parrot, he asks it, "Are you the one who's been talking to me?" The parrot responds, "Yes." The thief couldn't believe it. So, he asks another question. "What is your name?" "Ismael." the parrot replies. The man scoffed. "What type of idiot names a parrot Ismael?" The parrot speaks yet again, "The same type of idiot that names a Rottweiler Jesus."

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

My friend just got a new house, he told me to make myself at home, so i threw him out. I hate visiters.

A cement mixer has collided with a prison van. Motorists are asked to look out for 16 hardened criminals.

I dated a furry once The relationship didn't work out, she was a cheetah

So, I tell my friend a pun about Bach. She freaks out. Then I say, I hope that wan't to much to (Handel), (Dont) let it (Strauss) you out. For all of my musicians out there!