I'm still not sure how I'm not in jail or have been fined for littering. When I was born, I was born in a hospital trash can, therefore making me a literal piece of trash. That being said, any time I'm out in public, I'm a piece of litter.
guys we should not make fun of 9/11 like that stuff is just plane out crazy like you all should not let that fly
you want to know the bad thing? only 5 out of 6 people like Russian roulette
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!
your teeth are so spread out my mom can drive her car through the gap in your teeth
I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy, then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
Last halloween i went dressed as a woman. When i rang the doorbell an elderly woman opened and i made grunting noise and knocked the bowl of candy out of her hands. She immediately called the police and told them excactly what happened. The officer pulled me aside and asked me a few questions. First he asked are your parents here and i said nothing. Concerned by my answer he then asked if i was ok so i said nothing. He asked me what my name and i responded, "Hellen Keller.
Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation? You: No Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.
Wow- didn't know little jhony jokes were so dark- Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about sucide, sex and drugs? :-)
"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well I don't really know if there actually are- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes- Even chin jokes. :^))
and slice jokes!
What kind of "slices"?
Handy ones. ^_^
Why did Steven hawking die,he ran out of data
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake everyday. He had no hands or no legs. One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No." The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?" The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever." So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked. "No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before." The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?" The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked." The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Should I buy COVID-19 or wait until COVID-20 comes out?
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater
I got kicked out of a library because i put a book about women's rights into the fantasy section
There was a kid named buttitches and his teacher was taking attendance. then the teavher asked"what is your name"? And he answered "buttitches" Then the teacher asked again "what's your name" and he replied buttitches. Then a student yelled out "JUST SCRATCH YOUR ASS ALREADY"!!
i just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the womens right in the fiction section
I ain't shaking any ones hand, not because of the Coronavirus... I ain't shaking any ones hand because y'all out of toilet paper!
Do one day i was sitting on my couch watching youtube when i heard a knock on the door. i opened the door and to my surprise it was my dad. i haven't seen him in 16 years, so i let him in. i noticed he had a gallon of milk in his hand and he went to the kitchen and put the milk in the fridge. then he walked towards me and said "Oh no! i forgot the cereal!" then he walked out the door and drove away. i never saw him again
