OR jokes

A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?

The husband answers her: Pretty.

The wife responds: Thank yo-

The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!

A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."

"Interesting."

"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.

What's the difference between anal and oral sex?

An and Or!

This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?

What time is it if you sprain an ankle or an arm?

Time to go to the doctor! 🥼

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry in front of me, or else I'll cry!"

My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.

So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.

In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.

Why can't we see or sense kamikazes' bombs?

They're out of plane sight.

Is shooting and killing a pregnant woman a spawn kill or double kill?

Why are orphans so successful?

When they were told to go big or go home, they only had one option.

Yo mama is so fat that she got on the scale, and it says, "Lose some pounds before you get on the scale, or it will break!"

Do not like, dislike, or comment on this joke.

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

What did the mother cheetah say to her cub?

"Go to bed or I'll slap your spots off you!"

Would you rather date me or a lady?

I laid deez nuts in your mouth.

Man, we all have the one cool sibling, then the strong sibling, and then you, the one who plays on their iPad or computer all day. Then, when you are on vacation, you are doing nothing at all.

Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.

I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.

Harry Potter

Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"

Jumanji

Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."

Why do orphans only have 363 days in the year?

Because they don't have a mother or father's day.

Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?

Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.