OR jokes

Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?

Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.

Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.

Father: Now you know.

"Go big or go home," that’s what some people say.

"Go loud and proud," that’s what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!" that’s what I say.

Why are orphans sad?

Don't ask, or their parents may... oh wait, carry on.

If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?

Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?

Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?

Why did the chicken cro-

UM, ACTUALLY, THE CHICKEN CAN'T CROSS THE ROAD UNLESS IT'S UNDER SOME ROOSTER OR HEN SUPERVISION OR ELSE THE CAR WILL CRASH THE CHICKEN, AND THEY WILL DIE. 🤓

Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot, because you can catch cold.

Who would win?

The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,

Or one horny Henry?

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.

Why do orphans that go to their friend's house get this reaction from the friend's mom:

"Go back to your house, it's late." "Finn, wait, can I have your mom's phone number?" "Finn, wait, aren't you an orphan?" "Wait, don't you have a phone, Finn?" "Wait, I forgot, you don't have a phone because nobody wanted to get you a phone or to get you."

You're so ugly your mom and dad abandoned you, and you went to the adoption center, and not even the adoption center would take you or let you in.

"Dad, what is 69?" asks son.

Dad: "Well son, it is a position where a man and women pleasure each other orally."

Son: "So what shall I write? Odd or even?"

If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?

If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?

What's a chair's favorite snack?

Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.

Deja-poo.

The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.

I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.

Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.

Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?

Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.

Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!

Teacher: Where’s the P?

Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)

Me: Do you take milk before cereal, or cereal before milk?

The adult person I asked: Cereal?

Me: I take the bowl first! What do you do? Do you just pour everything on the table and then eat it?

The person: Yes.

Me: WHAT?!!!??!!

In memory of Michael Jackson, various ice cream companies are introducing the Jackson Chocolate ice cream. It is either 50 year old cream mixed in with 10 year old nuts, or 7 year old vanilla ice cream with 50 year old chocolate drizzled on 4 year old tiny nuts.