One jokes
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."
One time I killed Sam, Stan, and Gran on Roblox, and she was really mad.
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. To hire the Mexicans.
What do you call a ruptured Chinese man?
One Hung Lo.
There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.
One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
Why did the homophobic boy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing away the bent ones!
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"
What would you do after seeing your most loved one shot? Reload.
One late night, my wife caught me standing in front of the freezer.
She asked me, "What are you doing?"
I replied, "I'm making a pink yeti."
She asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "I left our kid in the freezer for a couple hours."
Bro, I’m so pissed. There is always that one kid in the class who the teacher helps. I hate that guy in the wheelchair.
What’s one food orphans can eat?
Homemade.
How many Polish people does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But you need 5000 Soviet troops in case he goes on strike!
I was reading a book one day when I suddenly heard a sound. It was the Grim Reaper. I ignored it and continued reading my book. Suddenly, I realized that I was one of the main characters, which, at the end, dies.
I used to like fireworks, but I'm dead now. Fireworks look like a charm if you don't mind something a little ghostly.
What lies beneath your nose and is being picked on? Your boogers.