What did the plate say to the other plate ?? Lunch is on me😂😂
As a hobby I started taking walks around the old clock tower. It's a great way to pass the time.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
If you are going to make fun of someone make fun of orphans. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Double whammy. Dark humor is like a kid with cancer it never gets old.
Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says "This is your last wish so really make this one count." The guys says "Well I've always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands." The Genie says "That is asking for quite a lot and I'm not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you'd want?" The guy says "Well I've been married and divorced three times, and I just can't understand what I've been doing wrong. I've given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says "Do you want a three or four lane highway?"
bin laden promised 76 virgins to al-queda
instead there was one 76 year year old virgin
Statistics show that 1 in 3 people live next to a padophile however I think that's a lie because I just live next to 2 stunning 8 year olds
What do most 50-year-old men put inside there cars
Children
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god my mom's gonna kill me!"
What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? -- One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.
Am I the only one who gives people in the neighborhood names they don't know they have? Like "Blue truck dude", "Loud dog guy", "Nice old lady with the rose bushes", "That slut across the street",
A pedophile is chatting on the internet : "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
A 13 year old girl is having a sleepover so one of her friends asks when was the last time you had an orgasm? she replies 3 days ago dad comes bursting in i KNEW YOU WERE FAKING LAST NIGHT
What's the best thing about 28 year old's? -There's 20 of them.
I had to clean out my spice rack and found everything was too old and had to be thrown out. -- What a waste of thyme.
30 people died in a car wreck before they got to Heaven God asked for one wish because they died in a tragic way the first lady she was obsessed with her looks so she asked to be beautiful and God granted her wish the next person didn't know what to wish for so they wish for the same thing the guy in the very back was laughing having a grand old time then god got to the person before the last he aaid the same he wished to be beautiful when God got to the last person he said I want them all to be ugly again.
What's the same about "Make a Wish Program" and "Dark Jokes"?
They never get old.
Micheal Jackson and Tonya Harding got together back in the day for a horse racing venture..Tonya says.."I'll handle the handicapping, you go ride the 3 year olds"
