Octopus jokes
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
Person A: What do you call the dangly bit of an octopus?
Person B: Tentacles?
Person A: Ok *tickles person B ten times*
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
What do you call an octopus with eight legs? An octo-pussy!
A man walks into a bar with his pet octopus and proudly claims the animal can play any musical instrument. The bartender pulls out a guitar from behind the bar and gives it to the octopus, which plays an amazing solo. Just then a Scotsman walks into the bar with a set of bagpipes. The octopus grabs the instrument and wrestles around with it on the ground, flailing about, making a horrible sound. The bartender says, "Hey, looks like he can't play that!" and the octopus says, "Play it? As soon as I get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna fuck it!"
How would you multiply numbers in octoschool?
You octoply, obviously.
Octopus.
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
What did the octopus say to the other? "Let’s hold hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands by hands."
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
The Octopus joke! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
What do you call a scared octopus?
A octopussy.
What do you call a scared octopus?
An octopussy.
What is the octopus's favorite shape?
An octagon.
How many guns can an octopus hold?
9
Octopussy.
What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.
I like turtles.
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"Octo" means 8 and an octopus has 8 legs... so where did the "pus" come from?