What is the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
140 calories.
What's the difference between a girl and a toy? There is no difference because you play with both anyway.
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
Yo mama's so ugly, she threw a boomerang and it refused to come back.
What does a rock and a girl have in common?
The flat ones get skipped.
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
Why are girls and rocks so alike?
If they're flat, they get skipped.
I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Well, it depends on how hard you throw them.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
I like my women how I like my fridge.
In the kitchen.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
How do you get 500 babies in a phone booth?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
A straw.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
I like my women like how I like my cocaine, smuggled and cut clean.
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
