I accidentally hit an orphan with my car, but I was not worried because he couldn’t tell his parents.
Not Jokes
Americans won't have a Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Why not? They sent their turkey to the White House.
Why did Sally fall off of the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Sally.
Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms or legs.
What did the little boy get for Christmas? Cancer.
Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.....Who’s there... Not the little boy.
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
Sans: What is Todoroki's favorite coffee creamer?
Half n' Half hehe.
Papyrus: Sans! He's not even part of our fandom!!!
Sans: Bro don't get so HOT headed about it. Just CHILL.
Sorry not sorry -sans
I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”
Me: Then which one are you?
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
Dark humor is just like food, not everybody gets it.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jill could whack off Jack. Jill yelled out, "Jack, where is your sack?"
Said, "I'm not Jack, I'm your friend Nancy."
Want to watch Titanic?
No, I'm not on board for it.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
My wife is not only gone like gonorrhea, she is also gone because of my (and now her) gonorrhea.
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
Why did the roster cross the road twice?
To prove it was not a chicken.
What runs but does not walk? It's water.
