No arms jokes
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
What do you say to a feminist with no arms and no legs?
"Nice tits, bitch."
What did the blind kid get for Christmas? He hasn’t seen it yet...
What did the kids with no arms get? He doesn’t know, he’s still trying to figure out how to open it. :))))
Mom tells her son to go to the other kid, to walk to the kid just standing still, to clap so the kid can hear and move out of the way of the car.
But her son was blind, the other kid had no legs so he couldn't walk, and the kid has no arms so he couldn't clap, and the kid died because he couldn't hear; he was deaf.
What do you call a prostitute with no arms or legs?
Cash and carry.
A man sees a crying woman by a pond. She is in a wheelchair and has no arms or legs.
He asks her why she is crying, and she answers that she has never been hugged. Feeling pity, he hugs her, then jogs away.
The next day, he finds her crying again, and she says she has never been kissed. The man kisses her and jogs away again.
On the third day, the man sees her crying and asks her thrice. She tells him she has never been fucked. The man picks her up and throws her in the pond, telling her, "You're fucked now!"
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?
"Nice tits."
Son: Dad, what's dark humor?
Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?
Son: No, I'm blind.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs at your front door? Mat.
I have an auntie who has no arms and no legs. She is my dad's half sister.
Why can't Sally swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock, "Who's there?", not Sally.
Where did Sally go when the bombs dropped?
Everywhere.
What did the kid who has no arms get for Christmas?
He couldn't even open it.
What did Sally do when she got home?
Cry because she has no arms.
Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Why could she not get back up? Because she had no friends.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Susie...
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Not Sally.
She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”
The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”
Mom: “Exactly.”