Worst Jokes Ever
When you tell an Asian kid it’s raining cats and dogs and he’s like, “Just open your mouth and close your eyes!”
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."
I went on a dating site looking for arsonists.
I found a lot of matches.
A kid in a wheelchair got hurt yesterday. I got detention yesterday because I told him to walk it off.
Want to know how a joke becomes a dad joke? Just wait for it to leave you and never come back.
What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?
Which animal is the least trustworthy?
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted.
What do rednecks find when they research their family tree?
Their INCESTors!
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say "I'm a real boy."
(I'm a trans man myself lol)
Why is the UK bad at chess? Because they already lost their queen.
Do you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Neither did she.
"This is the dude who assassinated JFK."
"If you got a question, just shoot!"
Why can’t Chinese people play baseball? Because they ate the bat!
I was at a funeral. I kissed a hot girl I did not know. She was the one that died.
Your mum is so fat and so dumb that she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Your mum is so fat that she took a spoon to the supercool.
Why do orphans not use iPhones?
Because they don't have a home button.