Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
Worst Jokes Ever
All orphans must hate the LGBTQIA+ because they are home-o-phobic.
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
You’re so fat that when you sit on the toilet, it says, “A B C D E F G, get your butt off of me!”
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
The earth used to be flat.
Till they buried yo mama.
Yo mama so ugly,
they won’t give her a vaccine so she can keep wearing her mask.
Yo mama so ugly,
my screen cracked when she took her photo!
Yo mama so fat,
she fell off BOTH sides of the bed!
Yo mama so old,
her memory is black and white.
Yo mama so stupid,
she thought DUNKIN' DONUTS was a basketball team.
Your mum is so fat, she needs 3 different watches for 3 different time zones.
I keep trying to call my emo friend. They keep hanging up.
What do eating a watermelon, rolling a cigarette, and eating a hippie chick out have in common?
Spit, spit, spit!
Why did Justin Bieber start playing hide and seek with his fans?
Because they keepped.
I made a website for orphans, but it wouldn’t let me put a homepage.
Lesbians when the GPS asks them to go straight.
You must work at McDonald's because you have a McDouble chin.
Yo son so excellent, he gone to a Rubik’s cube competition who competed against his daddy.
