Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
Male Patient: So I just pull my pants down and bend over for my prostate exam.
Doctor: Yup.
Male: Ok I'm ready....hey doc that doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: He he yeah...im not a doctor.
Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!
What do you call an emo furry squad?
The suicide furs.
There's no smoke or fire without a Muslim.
A Muslim enters a building with 100 passengers and an airplane.
I played Clash of Clans, and when I requested troops, all I got were some Muslim wall breakers.
Has anybody noticed that the New York City football team is the New York Jets? They sure know how to scare the Twin Towers.
What do you call an orphan that grows to be a priest?
Fatherless.
Your momma's so fat that she's used goods, like the Russian tanks.
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
Your mum is so fat that when you walk around her, you get lost.
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
Ur mum is so fat that when she lived in a flat on the highest floor, she fell through the inner floor.
You're so fat that you broke Thanos's snap!
My thighs have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
Because he had no body to go with.
Freddy, Bonnie, Cheka, Foxy, and Balloon Boy FNAF.
You're so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, you broke the correction.
A hunter shot holes into his favorite book.
When confronted, he said it was the "holey" Bible!
