Worst Jokes Ever
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
What do you call an STD?
Elenji.
What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?
GAY
What do you call Holly and Elenji?
A couple.
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
When Stephen Hawking died, I assume his computer crash caused it.
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.
What gets louder as it gets smaller?
A baby in a blender.
A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a beer.
The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
Wanna hear a clean one?
Old man takes a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirty one?
Bubbles is the 14 year old next door.
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing.
What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.