Worst Jokes Ever
"Hippity hoppity, women are my property."
I went to a truck on wheels, they said, "Wheel feed you."
Ur dick.
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot.
Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
What makes you think feminists can change anything?
Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.
I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.
How 9/11 Happened!:
Hey Bush, Truth or dare?
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
I like my woman like I like my wine, 12 years old and locked in the basement.
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.
Your face and your life.
Verga.
What’s the best math equation to eat?
Cosine Law.
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!