Worst Jokes Ever
How are babies and the elderly similar?
They are both fun to throw out of moving cars.
A priest, a pedophile, and a rapist walk into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink.
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
Doctor, what is wrong with me?
You will never be able to walk again. It ain't like with me on the field it would make the Miami Dolphins any better.
9/11 is like genders.
There used to be two of them, and now it’s a touchy subject.
What's worse than 5 babies in a dumpster?
5 dumpsters in a baby.
My name.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!
I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.
I just finished my fourth round of baby back ribs. For some reason, everyone else at the abortion center is staring at me.
What is the difference between babies and dogs?
I don't eat dog parts.
I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.
"I will see her in one week!"
A week later, he died.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be DYING to get in there.
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I was digging in my garden when I found a treasure chest full of gold. I was about to run inside and tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.