Worst Jokes Ever
I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
What is yellow but can't swim?
A school bus full of children.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Follow me on Instagram: @Lavderi
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
I made a website for orphans, but it didn't have a home page.
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
Howard Stern rules, b*tches!
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Trump's cabinet are like panties. Some crawl up your butt, some snap under pressure, and some actually cover your butt when you need them.
How did pioneers name Canada?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"
That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
I am the joke.
My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.