Where do cows get their medicine?
At the farmacy.
Worst Jokes Ever
What did Sushi 'A' say to Sushi 'B'?
- Wassaaaa....B!
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.
What do bats like to eat?
Bloodsuckers! 🩸🍭😂
What do Michael Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little white crackers.
What did one condom say to the other condom as they were passing a gay bar? "Let's go get shit faced!"
One day, an orphan threw a boomerang, and it didn’t come back like its parents.
What did a magic house 🏠 do?
Make someone in a wheelchair.
What time do you call me tomorrow?
W ffseetyhggghjoi.
What time is it when you cannot walk anymore? Time to get a wheelchair 🦽
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill and now they have a son.
Yo mama is so fat, I thought she was a beach whale.
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
Your face.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dumplin.
Dumplin who?
Dumplin the killer.
911 what's your emergency?
Me: Officer, my girlfriend is dead!
Operator: What happened!?
Me: She bit the tip.
