Worst Jokes Ever
A wife asked her husband why he cheated on her. His reply was, “She was just lying there naked on the table, what was I supposed to do?” The wife replies, “Change the damn diaper, you idiot.”
What is the Titanic's favorite mint?
Icebreakers.
One night, I saw a woman sitting behind a dumpster. So I took her home. We talked all the way there. When we got home, I gave her a bath. Later on, things started getting passionate. We started doing intercourse, and some of the noises she made you would have thought she was still alive!
I gave up hope and I liked it!!
I take meds to feel fantastic! (I kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})
You would think catholic churches would be in favor of condoms: less DNA evidence.
What do you call an Asian receptionist?
Tai Ping.
What’s an orphan's favorite game?
Catch.
What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for?
campaign contribution to the Republican Party.
What is a glory hole at the adult book store used for?
Campaign contributions to the Republican Party.
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
Ooh! I know a joke!
(Papyrus) What is it?
(Sans) Knock knock!
(Papyrus) Uh... who's there?
(Sans) Sans
(Papyrus) Sans who?
(Sans) SANS IS LAZY!!!!! NOW PICK UP YOUR SOCKS BEFORE I SHOVE MY SPAGHETTI INTO YOUR MOUTH!
(Papyrus)
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What type of sound does your crack make?
Answer: Quack!
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide?
Well, I wouldn't want to be named "asdjasdjasdak" either.
What is a Russian joke?
Something that will be funny for Russian people.
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with her left hand?
She moans with her right.
How do you make a Tico dance? You put a little boogie in it.
Butt Morice - ( i ) ( - )@( - ) \ \ [] \ \ ( _ ) [] ( _ ) []
My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?
Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.
Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.
Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-
Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.
Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where the home is.