Hello, This is Jimmy from Jimmy's Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic! Your next loss is our next sauce! How many pizzas do you need?
What time does a duck wake up at the quack of dawn
What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
Do you know pigeons die when they have sex?
I mean, the one I fucked died.
Dinkleberg!
yo mama is so fat, she was the iceberg in titanic.
What’s the difference between Isaac Newton and the kid I kidnapped? Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Evan
Who's the world's fastest readers?
9/11 victims.
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”
Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
A kid was asking a mother for money.
Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.
The kid kept asking the mother for money.
Mother: I already told you I don't have money.
The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
So she could have someone to call daddy.
Your mom is just like Rapunzel, but instead of letting down her hair, she lets everyone down! OHHHHH!
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.
What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?
They both don't last a while.
Yo mum so gay she watched straight porn because gay porn was boring because she is gay
Why do orphans play Sims?
Because they can make themselves a family.
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
Your mum's so dumb, she thought Pornhub was a corn hub!
