Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.

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    • What's the difference between a used condom and the UCP?

    The condom was actually useful at one point.

    Bully: *Bullies kid*

    Orphan: Stop!! *Cries*

    Bully: What are you gonna do? Tell your parents?? XD

    Orphan: :/

    A teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. There were all the regular type of stuff.

    But then the teacher realized that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share?" "Yes madam... My daddy told me a story about my Mom." "OK, let’s hear,” said the teacher.

    “My Mom was a Marine pilot in Operation Desert Storm in Iraq and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t break and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.” “She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

    Pin drop silence in the class!

    "Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

    “Stay away from Mummy when she’s drunk...!!!”

    When I was a kid, my hamster died, so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death, too.

    One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.

    Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"

    When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."

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