Worst Jokes Ever
When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?
Fun fact: Most of the black holes in the universe are found in Africa!
Yo mama so ugly, she made the band One Direction go the other direction!
Is it still called beef if two vegetarians are arguing?
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.
What’s the best form of contraception?
Being a soccer fan.
What's an orphan's favorite toy? A boomerang, because it comes back.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
I wish I was a dinosaur because all of them are dead.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why don't you see gay people in wheelchairs?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Yo forehead is so big, Albert Einstein couldn’t figure out the measurement of it!
Who is your mum?
An emo.
Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesn't pay anymore.
Yo mama so ugly a rapist wouldn't even touch her with a barge pole.
The teacher asks, "Who is a Trump fan?" Everyone in the class, wanting to be liked by their teacher, all put their hands up, except for Little Johnny. The teacher asks, "Little Johnny, why are you being different again?" Little Johnny says, "Because I'm not a Trump fan." The teacher asks, "Why are you not a Trump fan?" and Little Johnny says, "Because my dad's a democrat and my mum's a democrat so I'm a democrat." And then his teacher says, "So if your dad was an idiot and your mum was a moron, what would that make you?" And Little Johnny replies, "A Trump fan."
Little Johnny is my son, and he got hit by a semi-truck owned by a Russian. Now I am on my way on a nuclear submarine with a Burger King Whopper to Moscow, then take revenge for little Johnny!
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)