When does a pentagon have 4 sides?
When a plane is in one of the sides.
Worst Jokes Ever
I wasn't planning on going on a run, but those cops showed up out of nowhere.
Why are 9/11 victims so good at reading?
Because they can go through 100 stories in 5 minutes.
I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and McDonald's?
One's a drive-through and one's a fly-through.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.
Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.
They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!”
Mohe?
The orphan was playing baseball. He hit a home run. His coach told him to run home. He couldn't find it.
I laughed at my life so hard.
What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt?
Usain Bolt finished the races.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."
The more suicidal people there are, the less suicidal people there are... Woah!
I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.
The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.
An emo tried to give me a high five...
I left him hanging.
A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.
Why was the Pakistani bomber angry? Since he got a pepperoni instead of a plain [pizza].
