Me: Hey, are your parents home?
Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!
Worst Jokes Ever
I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.
Me: brags about my 30 kill streak.
The jury: O.o
Me: *gets down on one knee*
Girlfriend: OMG, it's finally happening!
Me: *falls over*
Girlfriend: The poison is kicking in.
"the floor is lava!"
- everyone, Pompeii 79 A.D.
Me: *stabs vampire*
Wife: omg
Me: *beats vampire to death*
Wife: OMG
Me: What?
Wife: You're supposed to give them candy!
Me: Well, that's a sticky situation now, isn't it, Barbara?
Your hairline is so big even Dora the Explorer can't explore it!
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What do you call a suicide bomber under the water?
A bath bomb.
Dark humor is like food; some people get it, others don't...
[being buried alive]
Murderer: *out of breath* How are you eating the dirt so quickly?
Sorry, I got the joke wrong the first time.
Me running from the table where the Emos sit with a Happy Meal.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
Who was in Paris?
I dunno, the title was censored.
Germany is the best!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
What do you call a kid with cancer? Limited.
I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.
Onions was a good dog.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
