Worst Jokes Ever
Elmo: Welcome to the new micronation of Tickelandia.
Dude: Why are we close to Disneyland?
Kid: I don't know.
Elmo: Rule 1, you must not tell the forests or Bob Iger about us.
Meanwhile, Officer: Come on, Elmo, you're going to prison.
*Officer arrests Elmo*
Elmo: But who wants tickles?
What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?
Call their parents.
Why are vampires always sick?
Because they are coffin.
Why do priests dunk babies in water at their baptism? Because it's important to wash your sex toys.
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.
I took an hour-long shower. The German officers were looking at me kinda scared.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and Anne Frank?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
You're so skinny when you lift up weights, you fall through your asshole.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
You was reaching into you’re backpack and the whole class jumped through the window.
What makes genders and Twin Towers similar?
There used to be two of them, and now it's a sensitive subject.
Your hairline is so far back that it dated back to 13 BC.
Kobe is a legend and is nothing to joke about. Wait till you crash and burn!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What is the best joke in the world? Women’s rights.
What’s the difference between a leaf and an emo kid falling out of a tree? The leaf reaches the ground.
I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.
What do you call a group of emos?
Suicide Squad.
The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.
A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."