Never jokes
Teacher said, "You never do your homework," so I shot her 7 times with a M1 BushDid911 and replied, "It's all in my backpack, can you grade it please?"
Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW
I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.
Now I can’t get it to shut up.
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they never get a full house.
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
I'm the champion of this site. I fight with the ten rings and ten fists of the legendary Buddha.
Now for my joke...
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
Because he never lands.
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
I was walking in a park today and a little girl I asked, "Where are your parents?" She said, "Gone. My dad went to go get the milk and never came back," and I said, "Oof."
When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.
I could never date a midget.
We would never see eye to eye.
FaceBook Story: My mom loves FaceBook; she literally posts every day, but this day was sort of a hard hit.
So what happened was my mom got tired of her old name on Facebook, so she changed it to Thatmilf85, and I don't want to explain what milf means, but she got a lot of DM's from a lot of old guys. BUT, this one exact guy named Johnny Sins asked my mom if she wanted to do an adult film. I don't know what that is. I think it's an adult movie, of course, so she says yes and flies out to San Diego, and she never came back after yesterday, and to YOU Johnny Sins, my mom better be Ok and that adult film better be an adult movie and not a por...
Teacher: Tell me a moral story.
Little Johnny: Once my grandfather was in WW2. He saw everyone praising to kill him. For example, we should sneak up and kill him. We get the helicopter above and shoot him from there. My grandfather heard this, he got his gun and shot them all.
Teacher: What is the moral even?
Little Johnny: Never plan to kill my grandfather.
Why do orphans love violent video games like GTA?
They never had parents to protect them from it.
Why do orphans become bullies?
Because their mum and dad were never there for them.
They never told us Humpty was an egg. A man died then!
I can never get away from my dog, he follows me everywhere. I think you two would be really good friends.
Never let an orphan watch Fast and the Furious.
All they will talk about is how great their family is.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”