Newest Need Jokes - Page 15 - Worst Jokes Ever

im black and i have a dying family in my basement that assent ate in 2 weeks they need help btw its a joke lol

doctor: you need to eat healthy

me: no

doctor: the last patient who didn't change their diet after i suggested it died

me: oh my goodness

doctor: in a plane crash

me: that sounds unrelated

doctor: i'm the one that crashed it. do not disobey me

I was an orphan as a kid but I have never had a bitch so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming and she said "Mofo you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to"

Your moms so fat she doesn’t need internet, she’s already world wide

What do you call a animal in space just death because you need a space suit

looking funny or funny looking

When it's 2 AM and the
anime episode ends
with a cliffhanger
I don't need sleep. I need answer

this is funny

MEOWED UNTIL THE HUMAN
WOKE UP. I DIDN'T NEED ANYTHING,
JUST FELT LIKE BEING ANNOYING.
RD

so, a few hours ago my friend said i need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes...like...it's really not that deep?

We need to stop making orphan jokes like this because they aren’t mean enough. We need more cruel jokes.😂😂😂😂😂😂

YOUR HAIRLINE IS SO FAR BACK I NEED BINOCULARS TO SEE IT

Work

Best way to trick your friends:

A brick falls out of a plane.

How do you put an elephant in the fridge? Open the door, put him in, and close the door.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? Open the door, take the poor elephant out, put the giraffe in, and close the door.

The animal kingdom is throwing a party, all the animals are there except for one, who? The giraffe, because he's still in the fridge.

Sally needs to cross the river that is known to be filled with deadly crocodiles, but she crossed safely, how? Because the crocodiles are at the party, but Sally still dies after crossing the river, how? Because she was hit by the flying brick.

😶‍🌫️

Santa, I want
a dragon
Ok! I want a
girlfriend
Be realistic
www
******
******
Which colour dragon
do you need?
Forever alone

A Person that puts a RickRoll in a book is actually the hero we all needed...

Never has a man influenced physics so profoundly as Niels Bohr in the early 1900's.
Going back to this time period, little was known about atomic structure; Bohr set out
to end the obscurity of physics. However things didn't come easy for Bohr. He had to
give up most of his life for physics and research of many hypothesis. But, this is why
you and I have even heard of the quantum theory and atomic structures. Bohr came
up with his quantum theory while studying at Cambridge. Bohr was a skeptic and he
never truly believed in Max Planck's old quantum theory. He put forth the idea that,
going from one high-energy orbit o a lower one, an electron could, in fact, be trying
to emit a quantum of discrete energy. Bohr was criticized for this idea, but he didn't
let up. Soon after, Bohr said his famed quote,"If quantum mechanics hasn't shocked
you, you haven't understood it yet." This quote is extremely famous and has gone
down as the motto for quantum physicist around the world. Understandably, Bohr
never won a Nobel prize outside of physics (of which he only won one). Bohr's still
going strong with his theories on atomic structure; he allowed for 100's of scientists
to fully experiment with the cell and its many components. Bohr was largely on the
run from the Nazi's when he came up with this discovery, which is amazing because
around this time, Bohr's home country of Denmark was invaded by the Nazi's. Bohr
and Ernest Rutherford are given credit, but it is believed that Rutherford decided to
desert Bohr in the middle of their work. Rutherford once, quite famously said that
you should never bet against the wonders of science. Niels Bohr's famous career
never really kicked off until he was forty years old. Most other major scientists were
going all over the world with their ideas by their early twenties. However, in order
to preserve the legacy of Niels Bohr, he has his own institution, whose goal is to
make many more great strides in the field of physics for years. How did Bohr affect
you and me? Without Niels Bohrs' more advanced atomic theory, we might as well
cry over how little we know of the atoms and their compounds. Physics would have
never been such a force in the todays society. However, to this day, research is still
going on to improve and update the atomic theory. Although scientists clearly want
to improve on Bohr's theory, many famous physicists come out publicly and openly
say that Bohr's ideas will never be improved upon, todays society cannot say
goodbye to an opportunity to improve our understanding of the sciences. If Bohr
never had silenced his critics, we would still be following Planck's theories, and
going on incomplete information. Bohr's later life was all occupied when he decided
to go back to Denmark and head the Royal Danish Academy. His main goal was to
tell the world of the of the greatness of the Danish Sciences and most likely educate
a new crop of scientists for years to come. There is controversy surrounding Bohr's
lie during his stint in the Manhattan project. Though he claimed to be anti-violence
and a peace-seeker, Bohr engineered on the Manhattan Project. Though he didn't
hurt anyone directly, thousands of people died. Neils Bohr opened many doors for
you and I in the physics world, he will go down as one of the greatest physicists.

She needs a flat surface cleaner

Why do people play soccer

Because people need to kick harder to win a parent

Orphan goes into a bar and the bartender says im sorry u need parent peemission to enter

Why is Putin and Zelensky neighbors? Apparently a big dick needs a great set of balls next to it.

I bought myself the life-sized Jesus painting off of amazon, and they had 4 nails within the pack. All I needed was 1.

this is rifle. ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一 he needs help being spread across this website. copy this message and paste it on any joke upon this website. spread and save rifle.