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Navigation Jokes

You are walking through the woods when you cross a woman who has been raped and beheaded. What is the first thing you do?

Check your map, you’re obviously going in circles.

Shipmate: Captain, there’s an iceberg and we need to steer around it right now!

Captain: My momma didn’t raise no pussy. Either that iceberg is gonna move or I am.

My disabled dad went to the grocery store.

He got lost and yet they couldn’t find him.

Finally, he was found after a kid told them he was in the vegetable aisle.

What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?

"Can you give me some pointers?"

John Cabot was the first to explore the Coast of Labrador. After he left, he realized that he had forgotten something and had to go back to get whatever it was. This made him the first Labrador Retriever.

Woman one: "I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell!"

Woman two: "Did that work?"

Woman one: "Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house."

Titanic was sinking.

Passenger: "How far are we from land?"

Captain: "Two miles."

Passenger: "Which direction?"

Captain: "Down."

9

How can you light up a candle in a ship which does not contain any instrument and you are alone with just a packet of candles?

Answer: Just throw one candle in the sea; the boat will become lighter.

Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?

So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.