What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
Your mama so ugly that even Rick Astley had to give her up.
Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldnβt stop singing βI'm a believer,β but then I saw her face.
Tomorrow is Christmas, and I'm giving myself a present that I can't wait to open. It's my wrist. (Yes, this was inspired by a Fall Out Boy song.)
Do you know Imagine Dragons?
Yeah.
Imagine dragon my nuts across your face.
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
What is the first thing the disabled download on iTunes?
"They see me rolling, they hatin'."
Michael Jackson was once a guitar teacher, but he got fired because he fingered a minor.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
What's the difference between Freddie Mercury and Princess Diana?
Freddie lived long enough to be a Queen.
What is a pedophile's favorite song?
Jerking off in A minor.
Michael Jackson was working on a cover of a popular Elton John song when he died...
His version was to be called "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...
