Music jokes
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Head, shoulders, screws, and bolts.
What is an Emo’s favourite music element?
Self harmony.
Why can't Michael Jackson ever win in a race? Because he always comes in a little behind.
What did Chris Brown say when he saw Rihanna?
"I'd hit that."
My fish can break dance. Only for 20 seconds and only once.
Memes
here's my dick pick
Why did Beyonce say "to the left to the left"?
Because women don't have rights.
What do Michael Jackson and the Captain from the Spongebob theme song have in common? They both say "are you ready kids?"
Who's the best at musical chairs?
Stephen Hawking.
What is Wacko Jacko's favorite David Bowie song?
"Boys Keep Swinging."
How do you make someone in Africa disappointed?
Sing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."
Why does Michael Jackson like to play ping pong or table tennis? He likes to play with the little balls.
What did Michael Jackson say to the kid on his lap? "Just beat it, just beat it."
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One's made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with, the other one carries your shopping.
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
What is the difference between R Kelly and Kelly Clarkson?
R Kelly hits on preteens, Kelly Clarkson hits on toddlers.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
Why do emos like yo-yo's? Cos they get strangled by the string.
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.