The other day I went to a museum, my friend and I went to the holocaust section and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him. Why are you sad it’s just an Ash tray
I walked into a supermarket to get some ordinary clothes for the wife. Then I realised I was in a rape museum
why does the please touch museum sounds like police touch musuem? because they gotta watch out for the pedos
yo mama so old her photos are in museum and her friends are in graveyard
Yo mama's so old, she walked out of a museum and the alarm went off
Yo moms so old she was happily accepted into the museum
there was a kid and a historian in a museum about ww2 and were looking at hitler in a car doing the nazi salute. The kid said, “why is he putting his arm in the air?”. The historian said “indicators on cars didn’t exist back then so he’s probably saying take the third reich
Where did the school kittens go for their field trip? To the mew-seum. (MOST LIKED JOKES. COMMENT BOO IF YOU LIKE THE VIDEO)
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks. This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied. This is your clock. It move 3 times because you lied 3 times i asked where is President trumps clock. he said it was at the equator. Spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true
Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.
“These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells.”
“oh cool”
“this is mother Teresa’s clock, the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied.”
“Makes sense”
“This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice.”
“Where’s Trump’s clock”
“Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan.”
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
Where did the mouse go? To the mouse-um!
you walk inside a building then you see a blind german then you call him his name
Answer: Nazi
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
Once I went to a museum and over heard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"oh cool"
"this is mother Teresa's clock, the clock hasn't moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense"
"This is Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands only moved twice indicating he only lied twice."
"Where's Trump's clock"
"Oh, we're using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it's so true.
Did you hear about the dead artist
Too many strokes
Dinosaurs are like my dad. I never got to see either of them, and they are now extinct.
The Smithsonian has 3 notable articles of clothing on display. Mr. Rodger's sweater, Jerry Seinfelt's puffy shirt and Stephen Hawking's drool rag.
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
Where do cows keep their historical cultural artifacts? -- In the mooseum.
