Whats the difference between me and a bus?
Im not on fire...
Whats the difference between me and a bus?
Im not on fire...
A teaher gives her kindergarden students four flavors of live savers and they have to guess the flavors the students guess cherry lime and orange. They dont know th last flavor. So the teacher gives them and hint and say its what your parents call each other. [honey] But a little girl shouts and says “ OMG there assholes.
Me: Happy birthday! I got you a Rubix cube! Friend: I hate you. Me: why? Friend: I'm color blind
I'll always remember my Dad's last words before he died on 9/11...
Allahu Akbar!
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.
I was excited my teacher asked my for sex in exchange for a good grade, but then I realized I was homeschooled.
whats black white and red a nun that fell down an elevator shaft
what's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag ones plastic and dangerous to play with the other is to carry groceries.
You travel to the past into the era where julius caesar is still alive. He thinks you may be from the future to bring him good news. He asks you, "How do I die? ̈
You reply with: ̈Surrounded by friends ̈
What do a convention of nerds and Kurt Cobain's garage have in common? There's brains all over the place
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of child birth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing. They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing. They keep doing this until they have the machine up to 100%. The man still felt nothing so they go home happy, until they find the milkman dead on the porch.