Morbid jokes

Morbid Jokes

So my mom has hit me with a flip flop when i was bad and when i cheated on my girl right when the other girl came in a flip flop came flying in the room

My girlfriend passed away recently.

at the funeral everyone was shocked about it

Still even when dead she is the best shag I've ever known

What does a kid and wine have in common?

Shit i forgot but they're both locked in my cellar right now.

0

a little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks " whats that" the little boy says that's my little red race car. 10 minutes later the boy looks down and ask's whats that,the little girl says "that's my little red race car garage. so later that night the boy ask's the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage, She say yes and they pull down there pants and the boy try's putting his little red race car in her garage but it won't fit down stairs the mother hears an ear piercing scream and runs up stairs flips on the lights and see's blood on the floor the mother ask's "what happened the little girl say's "we tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit so i cut the back wheels off"

7

A person had a child named bl another named es and one named s the next was named you , they were a very unholy family. There children were shamed upon because their names spell out bless you

A man has a terminal illness and isn't sure how long he has left to live, so he talks to his doctor. The man asks "How long am I going to live?" The doctor says "Depends, what time is it?" The doctor then looks at his watch and says"10" The man asks "Ten what?" Then the doctor keeps going"6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1"