Morbid jokes
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
What is the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face for my birthday.
When I was 8, my sister was half my age. I am 60 now, how old is my sister?
Comments: 30! Give me an easier question next time!
(Wait, forgot about the 3rd third thing.) I have said this countless times, but it doesn't seem to be getting through to you: quit hating on particular jokes. You don't like it? Nobody cares. Don't go into the morbid jokes category, you idiots, ffs!
God sent gays to fix overpopulation. Until they ended same-sex marriage.
Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.
Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.
Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!
Producer: We need to stop testing out products on animals.
CEO: Shampoo companies do it all the time.
Fairchild Republic making the A-10 Thunder Bolt.
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
Dark humor and women are very similar...
Not everyone appreciates them, but they both give everyone something to make fun of.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.
One day a couple was walking when the man stepped on something hard and squishy, then they heard a sound from the bushes. Instead of looking down, they both ran.
Two years later, they turned on the TV to find Ted Bundy on trial. They asked him if he has ever been caught. He said, "No, but a couple was walking as soon as I killed a girl. I jumped into a bush. They didn't know I was there, but the man stepped on the dead body but didn't look down, then he and his girlfriend ran."
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
What's the difference between saying "bloody" in America and in the U.K.?
In the U.K., it's a swear word.
In America, it's a family reunion.
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!πππππ
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...π
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not! He got nailed before he died.
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.