Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Dog

    • Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?

    I'm sure you would run away if your name was kjdhfkuaysbgfbkuejgf.

  • 2

    • Girl

    • A girl in my class started barking, and I yelled out, "Furry!" Everyone started laughing at her, and I felt bad. After school, I asked to drive her home, and one the way there I apologized and then told her to count down from 10 - 1. Before she said one, I yelled, "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" then I jumped out the car.

  • 1

    • Crack

    • Girl playing outside: "Step on a line and you break your mommy's spine." She then steps on a line and her mother keels over screaming.

    Girl playing outside: "Step on a crack and you break daddy's back." She steps on a crack the mailman next door then keels over screaming.

    The husband starts celebrating, gets in the car, and starts to drive away.

    The son comes outside and steps on a crack.

    The dad then dies in a car crash.

  • 3

    • Dwarf

    • I was walking home when I saw children crossing the street on their own. I went towards him and tapped his shoulder and said, "Hey, little kid, you are not supposed to be walking on your own." The kid turns out to be a dwarf.

  • 0

    • Cop

    • How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

    None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.

  • 6

    • Ghost

    • There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.

    White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.

    Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.

    Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"

  • 2

    • Brick

    • One day, a child walks along and asks, "Mother, why am I called Butterfly?"

    The mother replies, "A butterfly landed on you as a baby."

    A minute later, another child comes along and says, "Mother, why am I called Feather?"

    The mother then replied, "Because a feather fell on your head when you were born."

    Then Brick comes along and says, "Ahahhsdjsjskxs."

  • 0

    • History class

    • In History class, the teacher taught a lesson about serial killer Albert Fish. Back in the early 20th century, Fish reportedly kidnapped, ate, and raped over 100 kids. He mainly chose victims who were either retarded or black. Further on the lesson, the teacher explained how in those days, black people were socially not equal with white people, and how people with mental illness were not accepted and treated properly due to a lack of knowledge of mental health.

    One of the students raised their hand and said, “You ought to be arrested.” The teacher confusedly asked, “Why?” The student explained, “Because you’re thinking like Albert Fish.”

  • 7

    • Advert

    • Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.

    And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.

    Racist

    • Comedian: If you’re racist and you know it, clap your hands.

    Guy 1 & Guy 2: 👏👏

    Comedian: WTF bros!

    Comedian: And one of you is black and one is white. How does that work?

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