Morbid jokes
If it's on the clock, it's old enough for the cock.
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?
The joystick.
Do emo kids get jealous of their phone when it dies?
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.
I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
I looked in the mirror yesterday. I still have nightmares...
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.
But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.
What’s the similarity between your uncle and your hands?
They can both do dirty things.
When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.
Guy 1: How far are we going?
Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
Why did the condom cross the road?
Because he was pissed off.
Have you heard of the movie "Constipation"?
No?
Because it hasn't come out yet.
Where does Bin Laden keep his CDs?
In Iraq.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.