Morbid jokes
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
When you're having a normal day at school, but then...
"All the other kids with the pumped up kicks"
There was an animal on my porch, then I shot it in the head. It was strange that it had coffee in its hand. I flipped it over, and it was an animal, but it looked a lot like my kid.
Q: What do you call a pigeon that is full of poop that flies in front of a car?
A: A suicide bomber.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got genital warts, Soon you will, too!
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
Jimmy: Your mom is gay.
Me: No, you.
Jimmy: I have no mom.
What does it take to paint a wall red?
Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.
What does the Bible stand for?
Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth.
"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"
"Ok!"
"Are you ok, man?"
"Yeah, I’m fine."
"Dude, pull your pants back up!"
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
To keep their legs closed.
Csgo is just practice for when you want to one tap some 3rd graders
Wanna hear a joke? My life! Hahahah! Just kidding, jokes actually mean something...
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?