What’s an emo's favorite singer?
Slash.
Why’s it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You gotta drop the bomb twice.
What do you call womens Rights: A blank sheet of paper.
I heard a neat little trick you can use to have a public pool all to yourself. If you blow a whistle 3 times, everyone will just get out!
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
How many children can you fit in a box?
Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.
you looking for jokes? i have one, your life
What makes sad people jump? A bridge.
So I walk in to a bar and There’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face
That’s the punch line
Latias is red Latios is blue you should always remember to put up your curtains because I Pikachu
My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.
Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"
How does Jesus whistle? bye s blowing through the holes in is hands
I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful like cyanide
Why is the Catholic church in favor of condoms now?
It's now getting harder to hide DNA evidence.
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
Have you driven through Dealey plaza it will blow your mind~john f. Kennedy
Have you seen the inside of Ford's theatre it will blow your mind~abraham Lincoln
Husband:can we try anal tonight Wife: fuck that shit Husband:that's the spirit
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.
