Miss

Miss Jokes

Woman

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

Relationship

"When I heard that not arguing or fighting in a relationship represents a lack of interest, that's when my girlfriend started missing her makeup box."

Prostitution

There once was a man named Dave who dug up a prostitutes grave, she was as moldy as shit and missing a tit, but think of all the money he saved

Dick

You’ve got something on your face. Wait, no, it’s just missing something. My dick.

Dad

Your dad is so fat that when he walks past the TV, I miss three episodes of South Park.

Pork

Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?

Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.

Biologist

A Biologist, a Chemist, and a Statistician are out hunting.

The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left.

The chemist shoots at the same deer and misses five feet to the right.

The statistician shouts, "We got him!"

Rhyme

Why don't rappers use the subway?

Because they don't want to miss their next rhyme.

Rapper

Why was the rapper always the first one at the party?

Because he never missed a beat!

Missing child

Me: Brings in missing child.

Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.

Me: Oh, cool.

NEXT DAY

Me: Brings in 8 other kids.

Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rapper

How did the rapper find his missing phone?

He checked the track list.

Murder

If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.

Shot

I don’t know why people don’t say "Cobain," because I’m pretty sure Kurt Cobain didn’t miss his last shot like Kobe did.

Solar Eclipse

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

Cricket

Some rules of childhood cricket:

1. Whose bat, his batting.

2. Mother called to go while fielding. Then the turn will not be missed.

3. If the Umpire's decision is not acceptable, the decision of the Spectator, Front Uncle, or Neighbor Aunt shall be final.

Mom

My mom told me a joke about boxing.

I guess I missed the punch line.