Message jokes

Love you baby :^

What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?

"I CAN'T BREATHE!"

One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.

When you send her a dick pic, but then she sends you one right back...

The other day my friend messaged me saying, "bro I have two pieces of bad news for you." I told him to combine them. He replied with, "your girlfriend is cheating on both of us."

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent, but had not phoned in.

Needing to have an urgent work problem resolved, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted by a child's whisper, "Hello."

"Is your Mummy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with her?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Daddy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with him?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was someone with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anyone else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to the ambulancemen and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A helicopter," answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed a helicopter."

Alarmed, confused, and a little frustrated, the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle..."Me!"

What is mail? Boring.

Teacher: What is your name? Me: Written in the stars.

Teacher: Where? Me: A million miles away.

Teacher: What are you talking about? Me: A message to the main.

Teacher: You must change your behavior! Me: Seasons come and go, but I will never change.

Teacher: Go to the school principal NOW! Me: And I'm on my way.

fff.

Let's see what the orphans are gonna tell their parents about this: "Hey you buttheads, you stink!"

Looks like they didn't tell their parents.

Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.

What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?

Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."

Roses are red, lemons are sour.

Open your legs and give me an hour.

Why didn't Michael Jackson get away with messaging with kids? Because they were all juveniles.

When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.

Heyo, my children, hope you haven't forgotten about our cult!

Why can’t you private text someone in a community?

Because a community has more than two people.

Gwen: Bastard, dummy, and is the dang ding one who started this, because of you Gwen I am now bullied! It's not the unknown will it is a lot but mostly you! AND ANNOYING YOU SHALL BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO WONDER EVERYONE HATES YOU!

Best, Tenya!

Haters are hating. I'm still alluring, but I couldn't give a fuck cus this site is dying and boring.

One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.

I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."