Menu jokes

Pizza Hut.

Next time I'm at a restaurant, and they ask what I want to drink, I'm going to say "bleach".

"Welcome to Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where last week's loss is this week's sauce."

Five people went to a store and asked for a menu. The waitress said, "I will be right back."

I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

— Steven Wright

What’s a cannibal's favorite takeaway shop?

The orphanage.

One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,

"What part of the dog did you get?"

Why aren't there any stray cats in Chinatown?

There are, but they're just listed as "pork" on the menus.

Why couldn't the orphan go into the restaurant?

It was family friendly.

My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.

Well, because it's impastable.

Man asking waitress, "Pardon me, miss, may I ask you about the menu, please?"

Waitress, "It's none of your business about the men I please!"

What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?

"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"

Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"

Can orphans eat at family restaurants?

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...

"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"

Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs, and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: "Super cauliflower, eggs, but cheese was quite atrocious." (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)

I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)

Have you heard of the restaurant Karma?

There is no menu because you only get what you deserve.

If you’re waiting for the waiter at a restaurant, aren’t you the waiter?

Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?

Because he didn't want to see the bill.