Mental Health jokes
You guys, this is my last time publishing something here. You guys have been sending rude comments, and I need to work on my mental health. Goodbye.
I sexually identify as kilometers per second.
Cuz I really wanna km/s (kill myself).
What jumps higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
Friend: Hi!
Me: Who are you?
Friend: ...your friend?
Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.
My friend: I want to cut myself.
Me: No, don’t do that. *hands lighter* Do this instead.
My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.
I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.
I told my suicidal friends to stop posting suicidal memes. They said they will stop soon.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?
They're always cutting.
Like if depressed.
what's flat and great for cutting? me.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
Are you the voices I've been hearing?
Because I can't seem to get you out of my head. (Schizophrenic RIZZ)
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
What do you call an emo friend group?
The Suicide Squad.
What is my most popular side of myself?
Suicide.
Somebody: Do you even eat and get sleep?
Me: I have depression, what do you think?!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Suicide.
Suicide who?
Suicide you.
What do you call a group of emos about to jump off a bridge? Suicide Squad.
Grew up playing Fruit Ninja on my iPad. Spent time with my online sister playing multiplayer.
Now I play it in school with an awesome small steel blade.
I’m not allowed my phone during school hours and I have to give it in at the start of the day...