Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?
Because it's a battlefield.
I'm so depressed, I gave my therapist trauma.
What do you call a depressed tree?
A wood cutter.
Someone said to stop hurting myself, but I'm still trying to cut my arms off.
Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?
I have more respect for cancer than depression, because cancer has the balls to kill me himself.
Do trees pee?
How else do we have No. 1 pencils?
My entire family "TAKE THIS GIRL TO AN ASYLUM!!!"
Me "OH NO" 💀
Another joke, I know they suck.
What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.
What does a depressed person and a chicken have in common? They both try to fly.
What keeps an emo kid from hitting the ground?
The rope.
My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
Why do Emos always wear black like ninjas?
Because they're always cutting.
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
Sometimes I wish my grass was depressed, then it would just cut itself.
Mom: That's why your dad left you.
Me: Why?
Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.
Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!
Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!
(This actually did happen in real life.)
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
An emo girl dyed her hair red.
Where does her hairline start? Her wrist.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
