what do you call it when you see nothing but pants? brief psychotic disorder!
I was asked at school to draw a line across the paper, but instead I showed them my wrists.
1. Full name: John 2. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. 3. Favorite meal: the sphinx with the sour cream. 4. Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. 5. Mental health: mentally retarded. 6. Previous careers: funeral undertaking, after that two years in the circus as the main brown bear, after that in the church school for two years, after this experience five years as a screw in the jail for the worst criminals with the top degree of supervision and now working for the secret services in my home country after gaining the top-secret audit. 7. Favorite pets: dog, bumble bee named Maxo, a butterfly named as Redwing and the lizard named as Notail 8. Favorite activities: washing the dishes, cutting the woods, vacuuming and playing hard rock. 9. Working motivation: none.
I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. Kind regards, John
What is a self-harm person's favorite game?
Fruit Ninja.
Things I would’ve missed if my suicide attempt didn’t fail in 2020 My attempt in 2021 And my attempt this year
I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
What do you tell someone who has depression Answer: just hang in there
My wrists have a different texture pack than the rest of me.
Did you hear of the guy who was sad about being in a wheelchair? He had that crippling depression.
When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to just cheer up, god damn, why didn't I think of that?
My friend, you lit my mind: that's what the lighter said to my thighs.
Smile, because it confuses people. Smile, because it’s easier than explaining what is killing you inside.
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."
When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."
People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.
Me: "Oh man, things are really happening for me! I have so much to do!"
Depression: "Lie in bed."
Life is a try not to kill yourself challenge.
