Mental Health

Mental Health jokes

My friend asked me if I wanted to hang out by the tree later. I said, "Yeah, I was gonna hang there."

Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.

Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"

My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.

Mom: That's why your dad left you.

Me: Why?

Mom: I mean look at you, depressed, suicidal, and unhappy, always anxious, and other mental health issues.

Me: How is that my fault? You are a rude mom!

Mom: Your dad had a heart attack two weeks before you were born, because you are ugly!

(This actually did happen in real life.)

There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.

What hit the ground first in a tree, a leaf or an emo kid?

The leaf, because an emo kid got a rope to save him!

That moment when the emo kid hangs himself in a bathroom stall, and the autistic kid thinks it's a pinata.

Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?

They're still hanging.