Breaking news: Man with Alzheimer's forgets he's blind and recovers from visual impairment.
My back is straighter than I am, and I literally have scoliosis.
A man receives a phone call from his doctor.
The doctor says, "I have some good news and some bad news."
The man says, "OK, give me the good news first."
The doctor says, "The good news is, you have 24 hours to live."
The man replies, "Oh no! If that's the good news, then what's the bad news?"
The doctor says, "The bad news is, I forgot to call you yesterday."
A 17 year old pregnant Juanita flew all the way to NY from TX to get an abortion. Initially, she was denied the procedure because she wasn't COVID boosted, but after she explained the father was religious and wanted to be involved, they quickly resolved the threat.
I took a banana to the doctor. It wasn't peeling well.
A child with cancer: "I want to be like you when I grow up." Doctor: "Oh, you're not going to grow up."
Why did the Polish urologist cut his cock off with a knife?
To take care of his erectile dysfunction.
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
Whoever Stole My Anti-Depression Medications I Hope You're Happy!
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A fizzician.
"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
why cant a orphan get vaccine. they need parental permission
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support
It’s sad how my friend was struck from the medical register for sleeping with a patient.
He was a great vet.
Abortion is becoming more and more expensive these days. So visit Ammu-nation and pick up an Armsan RS-X1 tactical shotgun. It comes with a free box of ammo and a three year warranty. Buy now, pay later.
