Math jokes
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
Why did all the numbers mourn 10? Because he was in the middle of 9, 11.
Why couldn’t 3 ask 4 on a date?
Because he was 2 squared.
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.
I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."
So, Little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test. His mother and father get home and he tells them, "Mom, I failed my math test." His mother aggressively says, "Get the belt!" Johnny says, "Why?" His mother says, "I'm gonna spank you for failing!" Johnny says, "So just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night.
What's the difference between cake and pie?
πr2, cakes are round.
How do you say goodbye to a calculus teacher?
Calculator!
What does Michael Jackson and maths have in common? They're both hard for kids.
Why was the math book so sad? Because it was filled with problems.
Why is sex like math?
You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
What's the main similarity between an elementary school math class and the USA?
The class divides.
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
A girl tried 77.34 (77.34) times to think of a word opposite of BYE. Then her brother divided the word BYE. 77.34 divided by 100. TRY IT!!
What did 50 do when he was hungry?
58.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon!
(9/11 joke)