I was absolutely fuming when i found out my mate was rifling through my mums knicker draw
No one goes in there without my permission
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To check in his flat mate.
I see my friends at school they talk to me they go back to class but they forgot i am their class mate and they were like your dumbie and i was well your a dumba** bi***
gays, blacks and ur maw mate
I asked my french mate if he had a games console he said Oui !
What 16 stoner rode a Derby winner.
Lester Piggotts cell mate.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts. Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flag mate.
mate. my wife susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift? xx
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Two mates walk into a bar Mate 1 : Shit! look at that spider over there Mate 2 : Whateverrrrrrr Mate 1 : No, seriously it's bloody massive Mate 2 : (Turns around) Shit thats huge, I thought you were Joking Mate 1 : No I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)
A man walked into a bar with a ak-47 with 50 round mag and yelled out who the fuck fucked my wife, everyone was quiet. one man at the back stood up and called, sorry mate but i dont think you have enough bullets.
I met this kid and he was being bullied by 9 people. I Asked 1 whats going on. They all said another one to bully they all tried hitting me and then my mates which was like 15 of them came in and it was like war all over again.
How was Stephen hawking best mates Siri and google
What do black men in the NBA like about going to the locker room after they are done playing basketball. receiving golden showers from other black team mates.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
A Canadian, an American and a Mexican were tasked by a billionaire with teaching his stubborn pet parrot how to speak within 2 weeks.
They were given everything they needed to succeed and a large sum of money was offered to the one who made the parrot talk first.
The Canadian played documentaries for the parrot through the whole duration, he spent all his time citing the alphabet and reading stories for the parrot.
The American showered him with the finest food, brought him all the females that he can mate with and made sure to spoil the parrot as much as he can.
The Mexican locked the parrot in a dark room, barely gave him any food or water and beat the shit out of him every single day.
When the time was up, the billionaire returned to find the parrot still unable to speak, so he asked the 3 trainers about their progress.
The Canadian goes: "I have tried everything, I spent all my time and energy teaching him the alphabet and reading books to him! Nothing worked."
The American agrees: "I have spoiled him beyond belief, gave him all the luxury he can possibly get and yet he won't speak!".
The Mexican confirms: "I have showered him with love and luxury as well, tried to teach him words day and night, spent all my time and energy spoiling him with everything I had!"
The parrot looks at the Mexican with disbelief and yells out: "You lying motherfucker!".
Q: Sex is great, only your mate can sometimes be a little nuts!
( I am still a single young virgin )
a guy walks into a bar with a 44magnum and yells who the fuck fucked my wife the guy behind the bar says mate you don't have anuf bulittes
There was a orphan once and someone knocks on his door and said "hello son come and hug me" but the orphan says "excuse me who are you?" and the guy says "you dont remember me im your dad" and then the orphan says "fine then if your really my dad, come inside and let me asked you some questions" and the man says "ok then but i am really your dad" then the orphan asked some questions to the man and the man gets some of them right so the orphan believes that the man is his dad and then the orphan says "you really are my dad?" and then he shows his dad his house and the orphan has a room mate and the dad and the orpahn finally get to then bedroom and then the dad knocks out the orphan and then the dad starts to have something with the orphan / son and the room mate hears weird noises in the orphans / sons room and he walks in and see them having seggs and the room mate records it but then kicks out the dad out f the house and then the room mate shares the video to the orphans school chat and then the next day the dad gets arrested because he was actually a gay nonce and everybody at the orphans school call him gay but he really isnt but since he was mad and disgusted he pulled a AK47 out of his bag and kills everybody in the school and was never seen again.
Btw this is a joke so dont take it seriously.
